Letting Righteous Men Strike Us: Receiving Firm Rebuke in a Culture of "Niceness"

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"Let a Righteous Man Do What?"

What should we do when someone rebukes us? Maybe you think of some proverbs that indicate the wisdom of receiving correction and think, "I would hear that person out." Great.

But, let me ask another question: What should we do when someone rebukes us rudely? Or, at least, what if we perceive the tone to be rude?

It seems to me that most people, especially within [what passes for] evangelicalism would simply dismiss the rebuke on account of the perceived bad tone. But, consider what David says,
Let a righteous man strike me--it is a kindness; let him rebuke me--it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it (Psalm 141:5).
In Psalm 141, David is desiring to avoid evil and he recognizes that a rebuke from a righteous man is incalculably valuable! And notice, he doesn't just have in mind "soft" words: "Let a righteous man strike me." He describes such a stern rebuke as a kindness. The mindset seems to be, "Let a righteous man do whatever he must to get my attention and keep me from evil of any sort!"

We live in a time when a righteous man isn't allowed to type with capital letters let alone strike someone who is in grave error. Of course, some will object that Psalm 141 doesn't condone rudeness. Fair enough. But, my point is that David is clearly not concerned about the tone of the person since he is prepared to put up with being hit. He's concerned about the truthfulness of the rebuke: "If the man is righteous, and he is rebuking me, even if it's harsh, let me not refuse it!" So, if we're on the receiving end, we shouldn't restrict ourselves to only hearing concerns that come in a soft and gentle voice. David makes this quite clear.

A Few Implications

The first implication is that we should not receive or reject rebuke purely on the basis of tone.

Second, we should be asking ourselves if there's merit to the rebuke. Is the rebuke true? Even if someone crossed the line and was actually rude about it, that should be a later consideration. And if they're right, we should thank them even if it was on the harsh side ("it is a kindness").

Third, the cause of truth is higher than our feelings. How badly do we want to avoid evil and error? Enough that we're willing to receive firm correction? Wisdom answers, "Yes!"

Fourth, we should beware the Tone Police. "Tone Police" is a pejorative term for people who immediately cry foul whenever they perceive someone's tone to be too loud or rude. There is certainly a time to correct opponents "with gentleness" (2 Tim 2:25), and we know that a "gentle tongue is a tree of life" (Prov 15:4). So, I'm not giving carte blanche for us to simply run our mouths however we choose. This too is folly (let the reader understand). I'm mainly addressing the issue of receiving rebuke, not how we give it. The Tone Police, however, will ride in on white horses to rescue  a person being corrected by someone who has a firm tone. The rebuker is deemed to be harsh and unloving, and therefore, their rebuke can be dismissed. Imagine these people watching a righteous man slap David and David not refusing it. Their heads would explode.

If correction comes to us firmly from another believer, let us weigh the matter. Even Paul, who said to correct opponents with gentleness, used language that seems quite harsh at times (see Gal 5:12; Phil 3:2). Yet, we don't dismiss him as an angry and ungodly person. Neither should we automatically assume that a righteous man striking us (or speaking firmly) is an angry and suddenly ungodly man. Let us consider that we may need to be jolted out of our folly.

What Are We Doing Here Anyway?

Are we here to live trouble-free lives of ease? If so, we cannot be servants of Christ (Luke 14:27; 2 Tim 3:12). But, if we are here to present our bodies as living sacrifices to our God and Savior, longing to live in the light, then let us acknowledge that this will require correction along the way. In a time when "niceness" is demanded before we will hear anyone, may we instead take David's approach which is Almighty God's Word to us:
Let a righteous man strike me--it is a kindness; let him rebuke me--it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it (Psalm 141:5).

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